Yesterday I had a lovely day. I worked in the morning and then had back to back massage and acupuncture appointments around lunchtime. I planned to come home and work all afternoon, as is my nature.
One thing I talked about with my fantastic acupuncturist, Judy, is the idea of giving your body time to rest and heal and recuperate after times of intense output, injury, trauma, etc. How "muscling through" is often our natural response (it sure is with me!) but how our bodies need time outs. (In fact, I'm pretty sure our minds do, too, but we were specifically talking bodies in this case.) I had some personal stuff going on over the summer that I sort-of muscled through, now that I look back.
I created Pattern Camp
, and my energy output for that built and built from July through last weekend, when the course went live. I didn't totally pay attention to what my body needed, partly out of having a lot of actual obligations -- teaching a painting workshop
in Denver, going to my brother-in-law's wedding in California, going to a gathering at Pixie
's, finishing the content and the launch for Pattern Camp, etc -- and partly because I'm stubborn and have a work-a-holic nature. Even when I'm "resting" I'm not usually resting. My mind is usually racing, or making me feel guilty about how I'm not working or running or being somehow productive toward some goal. So I've "rested" some in the past few months, but I haven't done a lot of actual resting. This mind of mine, I swear! Have you ever heard that phrase "the mind is a f***er? I don't like that word, but I feel it's apt and true in this instance. ;)
I hit a wall when I got home from my self-care appointments yesterday. I had a list of things that I was "supposed to" accomplish. But all that kept popping into my mind was: "lay on the couch. Go lay on the couch. Rest." I just couldn't do anything productive. It wasn't going to happen. The idea of muscling through made me want to crawl in a hole. And so, I did. Blessed be. I rested. When I finally (finally!) surrendered to just laying on the couch and watching tv, giving myself permission to do it and to not be productive, it was wonderful. Exactly what I needed. Why don't I learn from these sweet cats of mine, who know so deeply how to rest? Having their snuggly little bodies nearby sure helps to remind me!
And today? I'm feeling much better and ready to get back to my work.
When you give a lot of energy, or when a lot of energy is pulled out of you for whatever reason, it's necessary to refill your stores. To unplug and pull that energy back into you, however your intuition is telling you is the right way. Sometimes it tells me to lay on the couch. Sometimes it says to go for a walk outdoors. Sometimes it says to lay in the sunshine. I find that whatever it's saying, I never regret listening to it and heeding its advice. I don't always do it, but when I do, I always feel better for it.
So, that's the lesson I've learned (again) this week. It's ok to rest. In fact, it's vital. Otherwise, I'll have nothing of myself to give.