rest. relaxation. rejuvenation.

Friday, December 21, 2012

This is what my past couple of days have looked like.

It's so chilly and rainy and gloomy here in Portland, all I want to do is snuggle in. So do the kitties. I laid on the couch alllll day yesterday with Juneau right next to me, reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. I don't know why I didn't pick this book up sooner. It's pretty much like Brené wrote it just for me!

It's funny, because I actually had some work that I planned on getting done yesterday, but the couch felt like it was literally pulling me onto it. So I bargained with myself: Ryan gets the morning off from work, so I'm allowed to take the morning off, too. Meanwhile, my ego told me I was lazy, that I should be working working working (always!), that I didn't deserve to rest.... this is my constant inner loop. Stay busy! Be as productive as possible! Resting is for chumps! Are you laughing yet? You're either thinking I'm totally ridiculous, or you can totally relate. (I'm betting it's the latter.)

But I pushed through the guilt I was feeling over not working and instead laying on the couch reading a book, being "lazy" and "indulgent" (or so my ego told me), and I started in on The Gifts of Imperfection.

My guilt began to melt away as I read. I learned that it's not actually guilt I was feeling, but shame. Oh, that word!! Just saying it aloud feels scary. And embarrassing. IT's such a loaded word, you know? But I learned that this particular type of shame is related to being a perfectionist. I've never really thought of myself as a perfectionist-- but, I think it turns out that I am. I expect myself to BE perfect: have the perfect body, be able to work 15 hours a day and cook dinner and exercise and keep the house clean and be crafty and creative and amaaaaazing ALL.THE.TIME. And when I don't live up to that, I feel ashamed. I'm not good enough. I don't do enough. Blahgitty blah blah blah. I imagine you might relate to these feelings as well... am I right?

Anyway, my day on the couch reading a book was exactly what I needed. I've been working hard for YEARS. I moved across the country 6 months ago and began a new life in Portland, and I don't think I've fully given myself time to process it. It's been a busy holiday season full or printing and packaging orders, buying gifts for family, running errands, a craft show.... and it's ok to rest. Like, REALLY rest-- rejuvenating rest. I don't mean zoning out in front of the tv after a long day's work-- I mean reading books and taking naps and writing in my journal and taking care of myself for REAL.

For me, that also involves making stuff in the kitchen. I don't give myself enough time to fool around in the kitchen, because it's not work, so it seems frivolous. I'm starting to see that the "frivolous" things are really where my life is. It's not allll about working all the time.

On Wednesday I made some dehydrated kale chips (above)-- delicious and healthy! I made a mixture of fresh-squeezed lemon juice, miso, soaked cashews, and nutritional yeast and mixed that up with a bunch of torn kale pieces, then put it all in the dehydrator for about 15 hours. Scrumptious. (Based on a recipe I got from my mother-in-law last year.)

I also made some comfrey-calendula salve, based on this recipe, after a trip to The Herb Shoppe. One of my weaknesses is herb shops and apothecaries. I can spend so much time browsing, and I always come home with piles of herbs and other things to make delightful concoctions! I should show you a photo of all my glass jars full of herbs and teas and things-- it makes me happy just thinking about it!

And the Christmas tree makes everything around our house feel festive. Here's my favorite ornament:

Santa hanging on the moon. :)

So. Rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation is the name of the game for me right now, especially on this solstice and last day of the Mayan "long count" calendar. The hour has arrived... the dawn of a new world and a new way of being. May it fill you with abundance, hope, beauty, and love.

jess

comments

Barbara Swift commented on 21-Dec-2012 10:08 AM

xoxoxo!!!!!!

kimberly creagan commented on 21-Dec-2012 11:51 AM

Jess, thank you for this! Um, yeah, I can relate to the second one! My life is so incredibly crazy right now and I just keep pushing, working, doing...not stopping. In fact, I was sick with the flu a couple of weeks ago and I thought to myself, wow, this is nice to just sit here, even though I felt like do-do. Sad, I know. But despite all that I keep doing it! Actually, I just bought Jump, Trust, Repeat recently and can I say that I've resonated with EVERYTHING in it! Best business book ever! (I'll have more praising to do later). So now my dilemma is I want to quit my part-time job because it's making me overwhelmed, but I have to figure out how and when. {Anxiety}

Anyway, I'm so glad you got to rest and relax and that you are sharing that with us! You know, one of the reasons that is great is because in a way, it gives us "permission" to do the same. People are funny like that, right? I'm thinking, well, she's successful and she's allowing herself to relax, so maybe I should do the same :)

Happy holidays lovely lady!

Dana Barbieri commented on 21-Dec-2012 01:51 PM

I remember learning that very important lesson. Good for you. You should that more often!

Dana commented on 22-Dec-2012 06:37 AM

I love th sleeping kitty. they"ll show you how it's done.

Sarah commented on 23-Dec-2012 09:23 AM

THANK YOU for the book recommendation! I started it last night and I'm already half way through. I needed this book more than you can know.

Loving your work as always.
Merry Christmas!
Sarah

marta pirzadeh commented on 30-Dec-2012 04:10 PM

Okay, as you know-I stumbled upon your site a few weeks ago when looking for fun rain boots for my 13-year old daughter...I bought them and have found so much more! Inspiration! But, here's the kicker-I heard this author on the radio today (Brene' Brown)-never heard of her before, then I checked out your blog and there's the book! I bought 3 copies today (1 for me and 2 for gifts!)...it must be a sign for good things to come in 2013. Thanks for the inspiration!