jump
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 11:09AM 
I love when in the middle of creating an illustration I have a moment of realization about the way that I am in my life.
Picture this:
You're in an airplane with a parachute strapped to your back, wearing the whole skydiving getup, and you're going back and forth in your mind about all the ways it 's going to be scary, how hurt you could get if your parachute doesn't open, how you're being a big baby and you should just jump already.... there's hesitation. There's questioning. There's doubt. Right? For many people, I'm sure this is the experience before skydiving for the first time. (Me, I wouldn't know- I'm way too scared to do something crazy like jump out of a plane!)
The realization I had is this:
I approach much of my life this way. The new project. The phone call I'm nervous to make. The big trade show. The blog post. I question. I procrastinate because of the questioning and doubt. I go though the back and forth before I jump into a project sometimes instead of just jumping in. The funny thing is, once I allow myself to just BEGIN, with no expectations, the fear is gone. Then I'm lost in the magic of creating, and that's my favorite place to be!
So, what is it about the jumping that's so scary?
What if I just jumped into the pieces of my life without all the doubt and fear that often precedes it?
My guess is that I would accomplish more in less time, and I would be able to tap into that ever-flowing creative spring more quickly and regularly. Because while I'm playing the procrastination game, it sure as heck doesn't feel good, and there's no portal to the creative flow in a mind full of doubt.
So today, I'm challenging myself to jump. Because once I jump, unexpected and wonderful things *always* happen, and I want to experience that without all the drama beforehand!
{prints available in my etsy shop}
Reader Comments (10)
Right there with ya. :) Been self-talking about this very thing lately! JUMP. :) Love the art, too! Beautiful!
glad to hear somebody else feels that way! i'm always WAY to nervous to make phone calls.. so weird.
It probably won't surprise you that my first Flying Girl painting (way back in college, 1992) was begun with similar feelings. She wasn't flying at that point, but on the precipice, and I never knew if she was going to fly or to fall.
At this point in my life, although i don't know if the perfectionism and anxiety is beneficial, I've come to think that the stalling, the procrastinating, the thinking is all part of the process. Maybe we gain something from HOLDING onto that idea and mulling it over, letting it get deeper and shedding the inconsequential.
Of course, there is that negative side to procrastination. Like everything, I guess it's a balancing act. Oh bother.
Ugh, I've been putting off a phone call all week and guess what! I'm going to make it today. Thanks for being a constant source of inspiration (that word is overused, no? I don't care it fits here) and positivity! Love the piece too, especially the nest on her head.
Jess, that piece is just beautiful! I know exactly what you mean about jumping. It's so hard to get out of my head sometimes and take risks. The unknown is scary, even when we know deep down that it's the way things need to go.
Wow, I'm always amazed how much we all relate to each other-- thank you all for your comments! Rowena: you crack me up. I think your brain works much like mine. :) Katie: did you make the phone call?? Libby: JUMP! Yes. Christen: what IS it about the phone that's so terrifying? ANd Becky: thank you thank you. The unknown IS scary, isn't it? Sheesh.
Its crazy isn't it? This thing about jumping- for me its scariest before I start on a project thats REALLY dear to me. I hem haw, find all kinds of excuses under the sun to just avoid starting- all the while being SO MISERABLE- i really dont enjoy it & yet! There are so many things in a day that you need to do, you jump into some & dont into others- i sometimes tell myself- 'this ones chance hasn't come as yet" terrible na?
Oh wow, Jess. I swear this post hits home so much that I could have written it myself! I can totally relate--and your realization has really made me consider how I need to just LEAP. Thanks for this--I needed it!
I can so relate. It's so good to know that I'm not alone! I adore this illustration! I want it in a bad way. LOVE it.
xo,
Carmen
Me too! Fear can be a good thing, to make us make SURE, but too often it just hinders. I know people who live without fear (my husband for one) and I honestly think their brains must be wired differently from mine. Fear is always the first thing that I think of. Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh, my! But you're right - there is so much to be gained from pushing it down and ignoring it. One of my goals this year is to find a happy medium.
And I don't know why, but I hate making phone calls, too (except to my friends and family). I thought I was the only one.